Providence & Prayer

God's providence tries our understanding of what is happening in our life. It requires faith for us to be still and wait for God's answer. Sometimes the answer is clear, other times individual providences make up a mosaic, like a Monet painting, of a bigger picture that we may never see.

Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. 11 For in six days the Lordmade the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.  Exodus 20: 8 - 11

I'm a firm believer in keeping the Lord's Day a holy day. I'm also a firm believer that it is the least adhered to commandment by Christians. We excuse this one away while condemning the other 9 commandments when broken.

As a professional musician, keeping the Sabbath is not always easy. Musicians have no lack of work opportunities on a Sunday and the impact on our income and relationships with unbelieving colleagues can be costly.  But, the Lord has never failed to show us greater grace and reward for keeping it. God has never left us wanting. If anything, we have gained far more than this world could ever offer. Our loving God gave the Sabbath to us as a gift - for worship, for us. He meets with His children that day giving a piece of eternity - Himself - His Word - the Sacraments - the fellowship of the saints.

I was really tested in this recently. After a long period of illness and taking care of my parents in their older age, I was finally able to audition for a new job - a professorship at a highly respected university. There were individual events - Bible reading, providences, correspondences, etc... that told me the Lord was leading me to this job. I had nothing to lose to audition, so I did and got the job. But there was one one catch. I had to tackle If I could agree to participate in two Sunday performances during the academic year. This was a struggle. Lord, what do you want me to do? Your Word is clear, yet you keep pointing me in this direction. 

So my husband, another very experienced elde, and I prayed and talked about it. The elder is a ICU doctor who on occasion has to work on a Sunday so he is very familiar with the turmoil this decision can cause. After some thought, we agreed that I should email the department chair and see if there was any flexibility in the dates. If he responded yes, then I would take the job. Thankfully, that was the response I received. I accepted the job, but was still unsettled because the fall date was set. So, I set out to pray. Lord, if this is your will, so be it. I can still be at both morning and evening services, but oh, how I'd rather not.

The fall semester has been hectic settling into my new routine - new students, chamber music rehearsals, paperwork, etc...It's a transition, but a good one overall. The little, yet not so little providences: My pastor's daughter works in my department as a student worker and no one else in our church is affiliated with this university that is 45 minutes from home. One of my beloved former students attends here, and they, my pastor's daughter and former student, have become friends without my introducing them. An answer to a year of prayer. One of my new students is a leader in InterVarsity (IV). A current private student indicates that she has wanted to attend my university and would like to continue her studies with me. My list could go on.

The chamber group pushes through with rehearsals, but hiccups start happening. Family deaths, once in a lifetime performances that are out of state, etc...start interrupting our ability to rehearse and then, my neck and back go out on me the weekend before our dress rehearsal. Deep down, I know I'm likely out for a bit of time, but I make the necessary doctor's appointment and pray to the Lord. Please let something else happen.  Don't let this performance not happen because of me. Not the new faculty member. I email my colleague who runs the group telling her that I'm getting into the doctor asap and will know better about my ability to make the dress rehearsal after my visit.  READY? She reassures me...one of our other colleagues has had a death in the family that very day. "It seems like we might have to postpone this concert. After all, I have a performance out town this weekend, too. Let me talk to the other colleagues."  LORD? I pray and take a much needed nap to rest my back.

The phone wakes me. My colleague is on the other end explaining that after some negotiation and real effort to spare the concert, the remaining colleagues determine that postponing the concert is the better resolution and actually better all the way around. But she doesn't end there. "Sundays don't really seem to work well for us at all...Doesn't this solution seem so much better...[] can tend her family unrushed and you can heal well...I think I heard a collective sigh from the group when we came to this decision."  Did you ever! Now not just the one, but both concerts will be on days other than Sunday. Thank you, Lord!

I would never wish or pray for the death of someone's family member, but God's economy is not mine. Pain has a purpose - back and neck pain, the death of a family member, etc...all part of God's plan for good. He led me from the very beginning of this job process to this point. And, all along, I had questioned whether the Lord really wanted this job for me because of the Sunday performances. Not need to wonder anymore. His answer is a resounding yes. Even in the 11th hour His ways always bring peace and rest to us - and even those who don't believe.

Pray for my colleagues to see Jesus and for those who mourn.

Eyes Fixed on Jesus - The Author and Perfector of our Faith

First, let me say it's great to be back in the blogisphere!  It's been a few years, the Lord has done much in my life as I'm sure he's done in yours, and I'm eager to share those events and lessons in the coming days/months as He leads.

For now,  I ran across this excellent article on a topic I've thought of writing on so many times and will likely touch on in future posts.  It's written by Jessalyn Hutto, a contributing writer for the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.  While the title may strike you as odd (ie. why is a married woman sharing an article about singleness?), you'll find that Jessalyn discusses and addresses the proper Godly, Biblical thought and attitude toward the season of life you happen to be in.  In this case, she specifically takes on singleness and childlessness, and God's sanctification process in the midst of those circumstances. 

Sanctification is for Single People, Too.  

I'm so thankful for this article as I have been living as one waiting to have children. And, by God's grace, I hopefully do my very best to not be a woman who acts as one being more or less sanctified than others, if for no other reason than I've been on the painful receiving end of such comments and know through God's reassuring Word that this is truly not His attitude toward me.  God does all things for the good of those who love Him, therefore, sanctification is not a contest/race against other sisters in Christ to see who is getting more of it. We all go through more or less intense times of growth, and certainly certain situations, whether they be trials, joys, or just regular life stages/events, carry various intensities of lessons, experience, and wisdom.  Therefore, we should be careful not to carry our 'season' and subsequent sanctification as a badge of self-worth or even pride, especially when talking with other women.  I like to say, sharing is one thing, flaunting is a whole other thing.  Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn.  Sarah and Hannah had despisers.  And ladies, we can cross that line easily to the great pain of another sister.  Furthermore, Scripture shows us that God does not smile upon these attitudes/behaviors and He will and does ultimately defend His people.

This kind of attitude/behavior can also reflect spiritual immaturity, if for no other reason than it is not winsome in the cause of Christ.  God does not want us trampling each other with our prizes.  In an ultimate sense, this pride is so near-sighted because it is so short-sighted.  Everyone is in a state of waiting, whether they realize it or not.  As Christians, we eagerly await the return of our Savior or for death to take us to Him, and the installation of His eternal kingdom, new bodies, etc...but most all, to be in His presence forever.  The most glorious gift of all!  The whole Bible really is a story about waiting!  So clearly, God has a good purpose for it, for us to be encouraged about and reminded of His love in it.  Waiting for a husband, children, a job, etc...these are all just a test-drive toward and dim shadow of what lies ahead.  The only glorious difference - heaven is certain. Amen!

We all should also be on guard for this sin because waiting is really hard.  Last time I checked, this joy-filled road carries many struggles, triumphs, and trials specifically designed by God with His people in mind. Another way to put it may be, that all of our circumstances are made by a personal God for us personally.  You watch friends get married, have children, watch those children grow up, and in my case, start college, get engaged, and yes, even your friend's children have babies.  And my good God uses all of this to mold me into His image.  As I've been waiting, God has often drawn me to those specific 'waiting' passages.  Passages like: I will never leave nor forsake you.  I am with you to the end of the age.  Be still and know that I am God.  I will restore the years the locusts have eaten away.  Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus, along with the reminders of His covenant.  And in those grueling times, when the enemy desperately wants you to doubt, these passages are a challenge and a comfort.  Hold on to the promises; God is fully sufficient and good.  God did not intend us to wish we had another person's experiences and therefore, be tempted to think we're less in His eyes in order to obtain His favor.  Doesn't that sound like a story from the first chapters of Genesis? You know, the one with a woman, a serpent, and some fruit.  Don't let what God has shown you in the light be taken away by another person's words.

And lastly, you will sin; we all do.  But, you will likely be more confronted with your sin during this time.  Take heart, this is real sanctification, and you are greatly favored when the Holy Spirit chooses to expose/reveal it.  Repent and remind yourself of His forgiveness and Christ's work on the cross for you. You are His beloved. 

So,  from my personal experience, here are some sanctifying benefits to waiting that you may find to be helpful reminders.  Though, I must warn you, be patient.  You may not see these at first. Take comfort, it's just another one of God's ways of building your trust in Him.
 1. Waiting stretches our trust in the Lord and sanctifies us to be most satisfied in Him - our only hope.  2. It gets our eyes off of the world (or should!), strengthening our obedience to all God's commandments.  3. Depending on the way you choose to wait, this time can be an example and encouragement to others - making them/you more grateful for what they/you have, and enabling them to pray for and seek ways to serve you - and giving them a greater understanding of who God is.  4. It may give you more opportunity to serve Him in ways that those who are married or who have children do not have the time for, specifically in His church. The church is always in need. 5. He can use it to bring unbelievers to Himself.  6. It can and often does create more of a Godly desire for the good thing you want and give you time to focus on preparing for that, ultimately thanking God for and cherishing it more if/when it is received.  Does this sound like favor to you?  7. But finally and most hopefully, it works in the life of your church to proclaim God's sovereignty, saving it from the pitfalls of a sinful 'cookie-cutter Christian' mentality.  God is the same and unchangeable, but His means for our growth are not, with the exception of worship and the means of grace (prayer, the preaching of the Word, and the sacraments).  In other words, waiting strengthens, sanctifies, and matures His church which is to His glory.  Yes, that is the goal isn't it...God's glory. So, Enjoy Him and be reminded as you abide in His plan for your life, your God is with you always.  In the meantime, let's humbly spur one another on in holiness and encourage one another while in the midst of all circumstances.

Jude 1:24-25  Doxology 
To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.

Little Foxes

Excellent and Convicting Article! 


Before reading, I think it's worth it to point out that there is a distinct difference between true hurt and consequences as a result of another's sin against us, and resentment.  To feel hurt or sorrow is not inherently sinful.  However, the response of resentment to hurt is. 

It’s All Your Fault, by Kevin DeYoung

(http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/kevindeyoung/2011/10/25/its-all-your-fault/)

Theodore Dalrymple is not a Christian. I don’t find much in his writing that demonstrates an understanding of redemption. But I do find a lot that shows a keen understanding of sin.
The Bible uses the word “bitterness.” Others refer to it as “holding a grudge.” Some label it “baggage,” or even more laconically, “issues.” Dalrymple calls it resentment.
For him, this means blaming his parents: “When I review my failings and incompetence, of a kind that I am too ashamed or embarrassed to admit in public, but which life itself often forced me to do, I explain them by reference to my childhood–parental neglect, for example” (Anything Goes, 209). For others, it means blaming friends, spouses, partners in ministry, former bosses, Wall Street, the government, the church, or the man. However we get there, we are masters at resentment, what Dalrymple calls “pre-eminently the emotion or mode of feeling and thought of our time. When the social historians of the future, if there are any, come to characterize our era they will not call it the age of the atomic bomb, or the financial derivative age, or even that of the 100 per cent mortgage, they will call it the Age of Resentment” (211).

The wonderful thing about resentment is that it never lets you down.

For example, if someone points out to a resentful person reasons why he should not be resentful, he will immediately come up with reason why he should be. I have observed that when someone says ‘Yes, but…’ there is little purpose in continuing by providing reasons, evidence or arguments as to why that person should change his mind about the thing in question. Deeply unimaginative as that person might be in all other circumstances, when it comes to preserving his original standpoint from attack by people who want to argue him out of it, his imagination is infinitely fertile. (210)

Resentment is that “friend” that sticks closer than a brother. It allows you to dream of all you could have been and all your might have done if things had gone better for you (though, as Dalrymple points out, we never dream of all we wouldn’t have accomplished if things had gone worse). Resentment provides the comfort of an all-encompassing worldview. Every failure is attributable to some harm done to us. Everyone who disagrees with us is but another example of the hardship we must face. There is no unknown for the resentful person–everything has been decided in advance.
Resentment even changes the polarities of success and failure.

The fact that I am a failure in a certain regard shows that I am not only more sensitive than a vulgar success in that same regard, but really I am morally superior to him. To become a success, he has not had to contend with all that I have had to contend with to become a failure. Really, I am better than he, if only the world would recognize it. (210)

Of course, Dalrymple goes on to say, the world does not recognize failures. But this doesn’t matter in the economy of resentment. It doesn’t matter if people continue to disregard us, ignore us, or admonish us for our bitterness. Each new rebuke fits nicely into the recurring pattern and interpretive grid we’ve made for ourselves. “My original resentment can become a meta-resentment when the world refuses to recognize the justice of my complaints” (211).

There is no escaping the snare of resentment, save for the sovereign grace of God. Once you let the seed of bitterness get planted and take root, the flower only blooms what is bitter. No matter how much you reason, no matter how much you listen, no matter how much you care or critique, the matter is as clear to the resentful one as it ever was: it’s all your fault.

Be Still....

 In the last month, much has occured of a physical nature in our world.  The Lord Almighty has displayed His power in our land, in ways that force all mankind to pay attention.  Here's the list:  an earthquake, Hurricane Irene and it's destructive flooding through Mid-Atlantic & New England; Tropical Storm Lee's record rainfall and flooding in Pennsylvania and New York, record heat & drought in Texas, a massive power outage during record heat in parts of Southern California & Arizona, a tornado/water spout in Ocean City, Maryland (my childhood vacation spot), the 10th Anniversary of 9/11 and more.

Are we listening, paying attention...we are not in control.  He is the Author and the Sovereign.   In Him is our only hope.  Oh, that I would love Him with more of a holy fear in appreciation of His immeasurable grace.

Our right response, 

Psalm 46  

God Is Our Fortress

To the choirmaster. Of the Sons of Korah. According to Alamoth.^a A Song.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present^b help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling.
Selah

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
how he has brought desolations on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. 

A Glimpse of the Big Picture

A few weeks ago, the Lord gave me the wonderful experience of going on a mission trip to Quebec City to teach the Quebecois children the truths of the Gospel and English as a second language.  Having taken 4-1/2 years of French in my secondary school years, I'd always wanted to actually visit a French speaking country, and this would be my first experience.  A team of 7 from our home church, along with 2 other groups from churches in NY and Michigan ventured across the northern border into Canada.  And, what a truly priceless (& exhausting) time we had!  God is good.

Before sharing some pictures from this beautiful city and her people, here are just a few things the Lord showed me.

1. God and His Gospel are so much bigger than the we Christians in the U.S. generally understand.
2. The Quebec believers worship with true sincerity & passion.  I could have listened to them sing all day!
3. French is a beautiful language.  
4. As one of my co-travelers said, it's amazing to hear kids speak french so well! Too true...sometimes you forget you're not in the U.S. :) 
5. The mind is a mysteriously & wonderfully created part of the human body.  I retained more of the french language over the years than I could have ever imagined. 
6.  Waiting 25 years to see Cirque du Soleil was well worth it!  Incredible! 
6. A culture/people who value the arts is a blessing. This was visibly evident in the manner and level with which the children could creatively relate and interact intellectually, socially, and yes, spiritually.
7. God's truth is God's truth no matter what culture you find yourself in - and the fruit of faith is the same, too.  His kingdom and the unifying work of the Spirit cross all cultural boundaries.



Now to the pictures (note: many pictures of the mission work are omitted as photos of the children are prohibited for online use.)

Our WONDERFUL church cook!

  

Cirque du Soleil!

Walled City of Quebec

Window Boxes

 Basilique Sainte-Anne de Beaupré

Ile D'Orleans

Cidrerie Owners - Happily Married 36 yrs

 Churches on Ile D'Orleans

Chute Montmorency

Hotel Montmorency - top of the falls

Final Night - Our Lovely Hosts & Mission Team

Wonderful Hosts - Natalie & Mario (head of the table)

Weed Be Gone!

You might ask, "Why is there a picture of a weed on a her blog titled, Beauty Revealed? And only on her 3rd post?!"  Well, here's why... 

As my husband and I were working in the yard late last week, I came around the corner and was totally shocked at the sight of this weed!  My initial reaction was That's HUGE...where did IT come from??  And then almost immediately, that still small voice prodded my soul.  This can be a response to sin in your life.  Ouch.  How right that still small voice was and still is.

Sin creeps in when we're not looking, and sometimes if it's been raining really hard (like springtime in NY this year), it can grow quickly and become larger than life.  And, see the stones in the picture?  These, in addition to a protective layer, guard from weeds.  So, it's not as if there's been no protection involved. It's that a root has been allowed to grow in the soil, through those protective stones.  Those stones are also for show &/or aesthetic pleasure, hiding the weed roots underneath.   Either way, if that weed is a physical example of sin, that sin is exposed! 

As a sinner, saved only by the grace of God through the work of Jesus Christ, I should not be surprised by sin, but should avoid it, loathe it, and turn from it!  However, I should not be so shocked as to ask where does it come from.  It's from within me.  James 1 doesn't mince words about this fact.  

The more important question I should ask, in the case of the weed or sin, is how do I handle it or get rid of it?  There are a number of choices available.  With the weed, I can - 1.walk away,  2. cover it with more stones (good luck!), 3. blame it on the rain, or 4. get the dandelion remover and dig that puppy up from it's roots!  Likewise, with sin, I can - 1. ignore it, 2. cover it up in the hope that no one else will see it or know it's there,  3. become defensive, make an excuse or point blame, or 4. allow the Holy Spirit to do His work - to convict, save, teach, and comfort.  As a believer, my only obedient answer is obviously No. 4 - in faith confess my sin, surrendering my will into the arms of a Loving Savior, take steps in faith to 'put on the new,' and be comforted by the fact that I've been forgiven.

It is a mercy to have sin revealed, to have my conscience pierced.  Romans 1 speaks all too well of those who have numbed their consciences.   I don't want to become numb and therefore, despise the Light!  I must allow myself to be pierced and painfully dug into, spiritually speaking.  I need to trust God by dropping the pride and the 'beauty pageant,' ask Him for humility, and pray that His will would be done in my life.   This very act is His grace, His Spirit working within me.  Get it - He reveals - I run to the Mercy Seat, receive forgiveness, and rest in His immeasurable grace. 

As a woman, this also means that I need to be on particular guard from the 'beauty pageant' game.  Ladies, I think you know what I am talking about!  The game that pits the I have it all together woman in opposition to the I have confidence in the Lord woman.  I think if we're really honest or just plain real, we'll admit we've played on Team #1 more times than not.  I know I have, that's for sure.  Personally, I am well-familiar with the state of waiting at this point in my life (see my personal description).  As a result, it's very easy for me to pull the 'God is Sovereign,'  'I'm resting in the Lord' lingo.  You know - paste on the smile and recite away.  Looks good on the outside, but oh, the inside.... This is not to say that I deny God's truths or my state of being in Him - I certainly do not and in every sincere case they serve as wonderful reminders as I speak them.  But sometimes, I speak them to save myself from the pain of exposure.  I want to appear strong in faith.  And, if I'm really honest,  there are times I try to get away with this before God - the essence of pride!  As if He's surprised, didn't ordain my life, can't handle it, or didn't mentioned it the Bible - Sarah, Hannah, Psalms, Job, Jesus...

Pastor and radio minister, Alistair Begg gave a wonderful quote a few weeks back during one of his sermons. He mentioned that "current American fundamental/evangelical Christianity doesn't suffer from the lack of knowledge of the Divinity of God, but the lack of knowledge of the Humanity of God."  So true!!  How I cut myself off from the very means of grace that God gave His people to win the victory over sin when I deny to God or another trustworthy believer (to a wise measure)  the pain, hurt, mourning, impatience, exhaustion, loneliness, and at times, flat out discontentedness that can go along with waiting or, for that matter, any other trial or sin I may be struggling with - ie. my humanity. As if He were unfamiliar or unable to meet me there.  This is a lie - and we know the author. 

How gracious a Savior we have who does not leave us alone in the darkness and meets us in our humanity! 

Lord, bring light to those weeds, rip them out, and plant me anew.  Help me lean on you, for Your victory is truly a garden of righteousness within me.    

Pure Joy

Make sure you watch this little man to the very end.  

 

Made me cry.
 These people know the meaning of what it is to be rich.



Two of my all-time favorite videos